I used a spell to fall in love with my now husband. My ideas around love and romance weren’t in the healthiest of places. Magic was a tool that helped me gain clarity around the topic and move my heart into the place it needed to be in order for love to come into my life.
We’ll skip talking about “love” in high school or college. I had no fucking clue what love was then beyond the love I had for my family and the farm. Which I guess makes me lucky because there are plenty of people growing up in this world who do not have a home life that allows them even the love of family (*hug* to those of you working through this). By the time I left this period of my life I had decided I didn’t really need a romantic relationship. I’d waffle between wanting some sort of sexy fling and just not having any time for any type of relationship.
All of that would have been fine if I had been able to confidently tell those around me that I didn’t desire a relationship. I couldn’t say that, mostly. I’d waffle around the topic with friends and family and try to be as confident sounding as I could. Truth was I didn’t actually know what I desired. I didn’t know how to work on knowing or getting what I wanted because I didn’t think I deserved. . . anything.
When I started making changes in other areas of my life I saw big, exciting things come into my life. As I practiced magic for my abundance and family and political action, I gained the confidence to try this cheesy, pointless area called “love”. I won’t bore you with all the details but here are the two workings that made the biggest impact on me.
One year I was going about my normal Yule manifestation writing. I wrote down in my journal all the things I dreamed could happen that year. I was outlandish in these ideas because Yule is a magical time perfect for dreaming big. I wrote down, “Bring a Pagan lover into my life.” The power of thoughtful writing with a good kick of magical will thrown in at the end is a simple but effective way of preforming magic. I picked an auspicious day, gave myself plenty of time and energy to write, focused my will, and made that journal page special. Spell complete.
I followed the spell up a week later with getting onto to OKCupid and sending three messages out. In the process of sending these messages out, I got a message from an intriguing fellow. He had noticed that I mentioned being a Pagan on my profile. We met up for coffee and ended up seeing each other for a few months. The spell had worked I had found my Pagan lover. Ultimately, this wasn’t the relationship that would last for me. We parted ways amicably. I left the relationship knowing that love magic was real and nothing to scoff at!
The following Yule I proceeded to do something very similar. This time I was more specific, I was more confident in what I was actually looking for. So specific that I felt like it was an impossible request for the Universe to help fulfill. January 8, 2015 I went on my first date with Brad. One month later I was still enjoying our dates and felt like there was real promise in our relationship, but all those old fears and insecurity kept creeping up in my thoughts. I knew that if I didn’t change my mindset I was going to get in my own way.
I planned and crafted a detailed love spell ritual. There was music, roses, and a very keen focus on making myself confident and open to receiving the best love I deserved. There might have even been some naked dancing. It wasn’t a spell to make Brad fall in love with me. That, obviously, is not something that works very effectively. It was a spell to make me fall in love with me (oh goodness, the cheesiness is a bit intense here!). I can honestly say it was one of the most sensual and powerful rituals I’ve ever done. It’s a spell that still astounds me today. When I begin to doubt myself or feel unworthy, I remember this spell. It helps bring me back to center.
Love magic is about making space for the sensual romance you need. It’s a tool that can make us feel more worthy of love. It’s a method for working through what really qualifies as love in our life and what is not worthy of our energy. Don’t do love magic to conform to the relationship status the world around you demands of you. Make love magic to find the juicy love your spirit craves, in whatever form your life requires right this moment.