It’s easier to confront tough topics in the dark. Secret telling, pillow talk, and confession are long honored traditions of revealing yourself. Doing these things in the bright sunshine face to face is possible; doing these things in the middle of the night or obscured by some other means is much easier. Shadows offer comfort when you are sharing secrets and thoughts that you aren’t quite comfortable with. When you aren’t sure you can face yourself, it’s kinder to share in the dark. What more global time of shadow do we experience than the eclipse?
This Sunday I joyfully was able to see the eclipse right from my backyard. There was some city light pollution but no cloud coverage. My boyfriend and I went out around 9PM just as the last edge of the moon turned from bright white to deep red color. It was as glorious a sight as you might imagine on a perfect early fall evening. Laying in the grass, gazing up at the disappearing moon and bright stars through the edges of the tree tops, was the most peaceful way to end the week with.
It was that peace that gave me the courage to mention some things that I had been struggling with last week. Maybe it was reading and journaling on the #SelfLoveSeptember topics that The Four Queens has been sharing or just a shitty week, but I wasn’t feeling the most attractive or lovable as usual. I work really hard to develop a joyful and loving life starting with how I feel about myself. Sometimes it just takes a bit more work than normal. Sharing the fact that I wasn’t at my shiniest wasn’t the easiest. My boyfriends’ reaction, though, was just what I needed. I’m so grateful that I have someone who I can be vulnerable with and grow with together.
Would I have been able to be so open, though, if it weren’t for the shadows of the eclipse?