Ain’t No Satisfaction

Again, I come crawling back to this blog after an absence I had no intention of taking. I really, really want to be posting once a week. I love the outlet, and I love the people I connect with here on the blog and on youtube. It just ends up being the thing that is dropped the fastest when I have other events going on in my life. Sorry about that! I’ll keep trying to follow through on creating the things I want to create in a way that makes it more consistent but still enjoyable for all.

I’d love to be able to say I had some big event or even family drama that provided for an excuse for why I’ve been away. I can’t, though. The distractions and stresses that have pulled me away for the last few weeks have been entirely the ones of my own making. If you’ll indulge me, I’ll mention a few of those distractions briefly.

-Work is . . . dull. I can’t really complain about it because I know I’m lucky to have a full time position with benefits. It just doesn’t use all my skills or interact with people in the ways I’d really like to. I’m working on staying positive and enthusiastic about it until a position more aligned with my goals and skills comes along.

-We entertained the idea of purchasing our farm this year. I’m ready to be on our farm. It’s been my life goal for years now. Ultimately, though, we decided to wait one more year before we purchase anything. This will mean we’re financially stronger. Our jobs might also affect how easy a commute will be at that time. It’s really, really hard for me to not just stare at farm listings all day because we are SOOO close! Patience, I guess, is my friend for a little while longer.

-My Ovate project is taking lots of time. I’m working on a series of videos and such that I think will be reflective of the work I’ve done in the Ovate grade this past year. It’s a bit tricky to get all the details the way I’d like and the project done in a reasonable amount of time. It takes more space and clarity than I usually need when doing a video. Hopefully, it will be beneficial to someone and a good memento of this time in my practice. I’m also trying something a bit different with making some of the series a private video which will be just for OBOD members and other videos in the series public. The mystery school element of the order is a challenging part of my work with OBOD. I’m hoping this private/public series will help me work through that challenge a bit more, too.

-Community gardens are in full force. We have at least one garden event every week for the next while. Not to mention the planting and growing of the actual garden to do.  I adore the time I spend at the community garden and working as a leader. It just eats up a big chunk of my personal time.

Spring is such an invigorating time for most. The return of the Sun brings new energy and inspiration. For me, I just always feel behind. I give myself too many projects with crazy, personal deadlines that sucks all that energy out of me. When I don’t complete my projects or don’t have enough time for all the things I want to create/do, I’m left feeling dissatisfied and restless. So, rather than writing ridiculous to-do lists, I’m going to celebrate the tiny successes and moments of seasonal joy.

I did, finally, manage to get my Ostara playlist edited finally! I hope it brings the energy of Spring to you wherever you are. My goal is to do a video for all the Solstices and Equinoxes this year and then share spotify playlist links at the end of the year for all the holidays. We could all use a bit more Pagan music in our lives, don’t you think?